I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
