He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
