so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
