so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
