So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
