the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
