We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
