What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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