why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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