I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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