why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize