i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize