I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
