come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
