apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
