I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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