Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
