The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
