why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
