when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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