His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
