Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
