Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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