Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
