I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The uberlube is also flammable
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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