we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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