I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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