I'd wear matching sweaters with you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
