at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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