Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
