I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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