i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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