i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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