Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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