I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
