About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize