At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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