Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
