I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I checked into jail on foursquare
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
