There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
