Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize