I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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