17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
