Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
