She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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