***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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