OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
