I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
