How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
