shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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