dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
