So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
