I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
