I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just invented taco cereal.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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