my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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