I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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