i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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