He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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