Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
