So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
