If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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