Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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