I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
