Barsexuality is the new black.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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