I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
