well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize