im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
